Irony - kinda like bronzy and goldy, except with iron

landscaping being done on the AMZN building before it's a complete building that one can enter through a lobby rather than a side door

elevator flair being installed before floors are done

lights and A/C randomly going off/up/down, but computers staying on

going outside to smoke and feeling like I'm trapped in a porta-potty

being asked for directions to my hotel by my AMZN cab driver (who proceeded to get lost even after asking directions from several rickshaw drivers/random people on the street)

walking into my hotel room and expecting it to be vacant, but finding several large Indian men standing around another man standing on my TV stand repairing my A/C with a large shop vac on the floor

going downstairs to a place called "saloon" in my hotel expecting a bar with beer and walking into a hair salon

knowing more about how to reconnect to a wireless network than the IT "expert" at my hotel (thanks for doing a disk cleanup on my computer, though, buddy - really appreciate it!)

asking for a pack of Silk Cuts from the cigarette display case in the actual bar of the hotel and finding out that those are just for "giving away"

Those are just a few examples of irony from my day (yes, that would be *one* day ;) Most of them actually happened in the last hour or so. I'm so happy that I'm an adaptable creature by nature and willing to roll with the punches as they say.

Work is good overall - everyone is very sweet and the trainees are learning well. Tim and I have different styles, so I'm not sure if I'm confusing them, but I'm doing my best. We had a team building meeting for the last hour of the day and everyone drew slips (chits in the common parlance here) with a name on them. We then had to go around the room and say three things that we liked about them. Of course, I ended up getting someone's name that I didn't really know (Ramya) and had only really interacted with at breakfast that morning. Fortunately, I can come up with several things that are good about just about anyone, so I was able to compliment her effectively :D She's a very friendly lady, has a great smile and she looks great in purple!

She got me as well and said that I am talkative (yes - clearly she has met me when I'm not sick/sleep deprived/cranky), have a nice, naughty smile (really? naughty? Comments from people who know me, please ;), and that I am doing my best to fit in. She mentioned that I had learned a few Hindi words before arriving (I had spared her that awesome curse word that everyone I traveled with to Goa is afraid I will break out in polite company) and she brought up how I had eaten my breakfast that morning.

You see, we had the Indian version of doughnuts and another steamed dumpling-like thing that is made from ground rice/pulse and fermented overnight. I've had it other mornings, but it's been fried like a pancake and very flat with bubbles. The batter is the same, but this morning, it was steamed instead (everyone I ate with was impressed that I remembered about the fermentation of the grain, etc from before). So, many of the people were eating it with the savory tomato based gravy by cutting it up with a spoon, placing it in the bowl with the gravy and then spooning it into the mouth. Others had placed the doughnuts and dumplings on the plate and spooned gravy on to the plate, too. Then they broke up the dumpling with their fingers and mashed it together with the gravy, popping the ball of gravy dumpling in their mouths afterward.

Well, I watched the people I was with eating it with a spoon initially. Then I noticed the others using their fingers. Turns out that eating it with the fingers is called, "Kerala style" for a state on the coast where a lot of the people who work there are from. Being the game person I am, I tried it both ways :D Clearly, this was impressive to them and everyone smiled and smiled at me. On some levels, I felt like a total child who has accomplished something unexpected. It's not a bad thing *at all* - it's just that I'm used to feeling really competent and mature in my own domain :P

Yes, dear readers, I feel like a total novice here. It's been a long time since I've worked with claims and a lot has changed. I'm not feeling like a total incompetent or anything, but I *know* that I'm spending too much time thinking about very low value claims. It's like every synaptic transit in my brain is worth $1 and I end up spending $100 for a $25 claim! I'll get over it, I'm sure...eventually ;)

And then you have the new culture. I can't tell you how many times this afternoon I wanted to break out that Hindi curse word out of sheer frustration. Like on the cab ride home...

The driver had gotten a series of directions and was actually on the right track when he stopped and asked for directions again. I recognized Crescent Road, which is where my hotel is located, because I had walked around my first day here. I knew that the hotel I was looking at was at the other end of the street from my hotel. I told the driver that it was Crescent Road and he of course confirmed with the random person he was talking to. He pulled down the street and stopped at the first hotel, which is not my hotel. I told him to keep going, that it was down the street. The phrases, "Keep going," "Go straight" and "It's up ahead" didn't work, so he asked someone on the street *again.* He proceeded up the street after confirming with the random people and then, rather than pulling into the driveway of the hotel, which all my other drivers have done, he stopped across the street. This is, of course, *after* he was driving almost the whole length of the street on the wrong side, which is actually the side of the street where my hotel is. Fortunately, I only had one near miss with a motorcycle while crossing the street to the hotel.

I'm so happy that this blog is being read by so many - that way, I don't have to feel apologetic about being so long winded. I'm sure that Tim had his fill of my rambling emails while he was gone. I don't know whether or not you all have noticed this, but I can be rather verbose (i.e., can't shut the hell up), particularly if given a keyboard and wide open virtual space.

So, dear readers, laugh and laugh as you read the ironic adventures of my day. It will make me happy to know that you all are as amused by this as I am :D Especially after the 1.5 tall boy Kingfisher beers I have had in the (actual) bar while typing this to you!

Oh yeah - a couple of things before I go. (I can hear the, "Geeeeezzzzzz, aren't you done YET, Anne" coming from all of you, but you can stop reading at any time, you know ;)

During the team building, a couple of things came up that I had neglected to mention at the trip to Goa. One was about the night crossing of the river. Deep said that I was very brave because I had come back across the river to guide everyone who was still on the other side to safety - that really touched me, mainly because I had forgotten about it. It's one of those things that I didn't think twice about doing. Again, there is a thin line between brave and stupid ;)

The other was Hari talking about how good I was riding on the back of the bike, that I was a good sport, etc. Again, brave is really close to stupid. If you're reading this, Hari, know that I'm just kidding ;D

The last thing that I will bring up is a Goa experience that I didn't mention in my last post. While we were on Anjuna beach, hiding from the sun on some lounge chairs with umbrellas over them, a couple of cows wandered up. They harassed some other people before coming over to us. One of them proceeded to latch on to the remaining quarter slice of naan we had sitting on the chair. Gulped it right down, he/she/it did! Then, after rubbing its snout in the masala sauce left on the plate, it decided that it was thirsty (which was indicated by pursuit of our water bottle), so I dumped some water out on a spare plate for it. It seemed relatively satisfied after a dabble or two and wandered off. Just so you have a frame of reference, here's a picture that Tim took as the cow was going for the naan.

Dude - COWS ON A BEACH?!?! The only quadrupeds that I'm accustomed to seeing on a beach are dogs and horses. Not now. My mind has been officially expanded.

Oh and another thing - my camera is dead. Turns out that plugging it in using the AC adapter doesn't actually charge the battery. Yes...it's true. Curses for not reading the manual before I left to confirm (I mean, really, who woulda thunk?) , not bringing my docking station and for not getting Tim's camera before he left. Rassum frat. I'm going to try and get a battery charger tomorrow, but I can't make any guarantees. If worse comes to worse, I will definitely buy some disposable cameras to photo-document any travels/outings I go on.

OK - I think that this is officially enough. I think I'm going to go upstairs and see if my room is free from Indian men at this point so that I can maybe order some dinner and mellow before my conference call with my fabulous team at 9pm. One last thing (and the groans from my audience are palpable at this point) - if any of you chuckled at the title of this entry, I can't take credit for it. It's a quote from Baldrick in an episode of Blackadder. For those of you who like British comedies and haven't seen the series, you MUST. I mean, seriously, go out and rent at least the second and third seasons forthwith.

Love to you all!!